Madmini Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 Hi guys. As some of us are dads I think it's worth keeping a note of our best "dad" jokes. Mine is What is as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing? A dinosaur shadow 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.AJ. Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 What do you call a bind and smelly dinosaur? Do you think he stinky saw us ..... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.AJ. Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 How do you send a alien baby to sleep? Rocket it! Ill get my coat 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
capri-boy Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 What do you call a blind deer? No idea. What do you call a blind deer with no legs? Still no idea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autobutcher Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 Two nuns in the bath......... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norte-23 Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 What do you call a man with a number plate on his head? Reg what do his mates call him? R Reg 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gaz! Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 How do you get 600 pikachu's on a bus? poke'em on. Bad i know 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
autobutcher Posted July 17, 2016 Share Posted July 17, 2016 What do call a man with a. Seagull on his head? Cliff. I thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
epons300 Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 What's E.T. Short for? Because he's got little legs what's brown and sticky ? A Stick what wobbles and flies ? A jellycopter got loads more what's the fastest thing on a washing line ? Honda pants Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chewbacca Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 What do you call a man with a car on his head? Jack. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chewbacca Posted July 18, 2016 Share Posted July 18, 2016 What's the fastest cake in the world? Scone Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hound Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 why did the monkey fall out of the tree ? because it was dead Whats black and white and eats like a horse ? A zebra 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daveyb84 Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 2 fish in a tank, one says to the other "how do you drive this thing?" 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hound Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 blind man walks into a supermarket. swings his guide dog by the lead round and round member of staff says WHAT YOU DOING TO THAT POOR DOG ? he says 'having a look around' Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tug Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Please lock this thread! They're just awful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NOFX Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 2 pikeys get married. They're on honeymoon in the caravan in the garden. The bloke runs in the house & says "da, she a virgin". The dad says. Get rid of her son. If she not good enough for her family, she not good enough for ours Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hound Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 how does bob marley like his doughnuts ? Wi Jam in (peter kay) 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hound Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Blind man (same one) standing in bus queue, someone says, dont guide dogs normally tend to be labradors ? he says, what have they given me ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hound Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 what do you call a man in a paper bag ? Russell . what do you call a man with a plank on his head ? Edwood 3 planks Edwood Woodward Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Hound Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 What do you call a gorilla with a loaded machine gun ? Sir Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chewbacca Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 2 parrots sitting on a perch One of them says "Can you smell fish?" 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Noj Posted July 19, 2016 Share Posted July 19, 2016 Think I may go to Africa next Month Kenya? Yes, if I book a ticket and get on a plane.... My sister in law lives in Italy.. Genoa? Of course I do, she's my sister in law. My dog's got no nose... Aw, poor thing, how does he smell, Through the huge gaping cavity at the front of his head, clearly! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norte-23 Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 Bill & Ben in the bath, Bill says " flobabdobbafob" Ben says "if that smell your in trouble" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norte-23 Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 (edited) Paddy & Mick on a building site & Mick says " I've had enough Paddy I'm going to act crazy so the foreman will send me home" with this he hangs from the beams of the roof shouting " I'm a light bulb" Foreman says " Mick go home your going crazy. The foreman turns round & paddy is packing up his tools. "Where do you think your going Paddy" he asks. "Can't work with out a light boss" says paddy. Edited July 29, 2016 by Norte-23 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Norte-23 Posted July 29, 2016 Share Posted July 29, 2016 What do you call a man in the sea with no arms & legs...... Bob Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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