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Women


FartyMarty

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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS

40-ish........................................49

Adventurous...............................Slept with everyone

Athletic......................................No tits

Average looking..........................Ugly

Beautiful....................................Pathological liar

Contagious Smile........................Does a lot of pills

Emotionally secure.....................On medication

Feminist.....................................Fat

Free spirit..................................Junkie

Friendship first............................Former ****

Fun...........................................Annoying

New Age...................................Body hair in the wrong places

Old-fashioned.............................No BJs

Open-minded.............................Desperate

Outgoing...................................Loud and Embarrassing

Passionate.................................Sloppy drunk

Professional...............................[CENSORED]

Voluptuous................................Very Fat

Large frame...............................Hugely Fat

Wants Soul mate........................Stalker

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

1. Yes = No

2. No = Yes

3. Maybe = No

4. We need = I want

5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry

6. We need to talk = you're in trouble

7. Sure, go ahead = you better not

8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later

9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron!

10. You're certainly attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about?

MEN'S ENGLISH:

1. I am hungry = I am hungry

2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy

3. I am tired = I am tired

4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage!

5. I love you = let's have sex now

7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you

8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you

9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you

10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you

11. I don't think those shoes go with that outfit = I'm [CENSORED]

A recent scientific study found that women find different male Faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features.

And when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his ass

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rofl rofl brilliant nice one.

You forgot the study on female hormones in beer though :P

A recent study reveilded (sp) that there are traces of female hormones in beer. A team of scientists carried out and experiment. They took 100men and got them to drink 8 pints each. The following was observed

100% of the men

1.) Gained weight

2.) Talked excessively without making sense

3.) Became overly emotional

4.) Couldn't drive

5.) Failed to think rationally

6.) Argued over nothing

7.) Had to sit down while urinating

8.) Refused to apologize when obviously wrong

No further testing was deemed necissary (sp)

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