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Random Review of Richard Hammond's book


PraetoR

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Just because. I thought it best you know, in-case you were tempted to buy it.

 

I've never done this before, for your information. :tease:

 

LOTS OF WORDS! BOOK REVIEW!... and warning, thereof...

For those of you out there who, like myself, read books in your own time, as opposed to just the mind-numbing drivel presented via facebook etc, allow me to offer my own 2 cents about a book I've recently had the pleasure (or otherwise) of tackling...

 

First off, let me just say, I'm an especially easy person to buy things for. Star Wars, for example, is a particular subject in which I'm very well versed, and I appreciate pretty much any memorabilia or merchandise depicting the much loved Millenium Falcon, Darth Vader or lightsaber. It really doesn't matter who or what; I have a Millenium Falcon chopping board, a Death Star cookie jar and a Storm Trooper helmet, just for starters! As long as it's not a duplicate of something I already own (or the recently released "Angry Birds Death Star Jenga", which is just awful), then I'm a happy chap.

 

I'm also an avid petrol head. Not like boy-racers running around in hot-hatches making "thump thump" noises and trying to attract attention to themselves, nor the motorsport "fans" that only watch Formula 1 and cannot for the life of them describe the current movers and shakers, nor the characteristics of the machines, in, say, British Touring Cars, the Isle of Man TT, or the V8 Supercar Championship. I'm talking SPECIAL petrol head: The kind that reads and feels the body-language of a vehicle as it communicates with its (her) driver about every surface change, every road imperfection, the camber changes, the shifting load on tyres and suspension and many other variables that only other like-minded people will ever be able to understand. The kind that prefers the smell of burnt fuel and the sound of internal combustion beyond anything else.

 

As a result, I tend to get lots of Top Gear stuff as gifts. It's fair enough, Top Gear is an easy alleyway afforded to "normal" people who do not understand my passion, but want to get me something I will appreciate. And I enjoy it, although I'm very glad I've had a marked reduction in the number of Stig action figures, calenders, bath soap, keyrings and other merchandising tat that has the famous white overalls and helmet.

 

Where am I going with this? Well, I also get Top Gear (and Top Gear related) books to enjoy as presents from people. I've read many of Jeremy Clarkson's books and they are, frankly, brilliant. Genuinely impressive World-knowledge, insightful articles on fantastic machines and achievements, in-depth descriptions of some amazing people and visions into fascinating true stories and scenarios. All this, mixed in with real, intelligent, humour, opinionation and just the right amount of offensive material. Utterly superb.

 

Which brings me neatly onto the book in question: "Or is that just me?" by one Richard Hammond. I've been going through this particular tome, a few pages at a time, while occupied on the throne. And, let me tell you, "a few pages at a time" are all I'm capable of! No, it's not me. As anyone who know me well enough will attest, I can spend a fair while in that particular lonely cubicle, if the reading material is up to standard- such as that month's Fast Bike magazine, or one of Stephen King's finest, or, indeed, a Jeremy Clarkson book. The problem here, is the material, itself.

 

The book is, essentially, sort of like an autobiography, but set only in the years of Hammond's mid-life-crisis, as he tackles "interesting" situations, such as racing a young man in a Golf MK3 on the motorway in his Morgan Aero 8, filming a documentary involving bows and arrows, and going to visit a telescope in Hawaii. Actually, those things WOULD be interesting if they were written properly and in a humourous fashion, instead of an ATTEMPTED humourous fashion. The problem is, while Clarkson speaks of his take on events, Hammond talks about himself. ALL. THE. TIME. (Lewis Hamilton's BBC F1 column has the same recurring problem). But, back to Hammond's book- I think the words "I", "me", "mine" and "my" are used more often in the chapters I've so-far gotten through (not many), than in any other piece of literature, or media, written in history... including "Me, myself and Irene".

 

When descriptions ARE given (in-between the parts where "I did this and that made me feel this way about the way my stuff is viewed by me"), the imagery is vague and fuzzy, and the metaphors are utterly TORTURED!! I mean, really tortured, like you have to make a real effort, and give quite a lot of leeway, just to get onto the same wavelength of what's trying (and failing) to be conveyed on the paper. Then, every chapter comes to a head with a small thought looking back, followed by "...or is that just me?". It's terrible.

 

Oh, and there are free stickers (STICKERS!!) inside, specifically for you to put on his face on the front cover. No, really.

 

Anyway, I won't go on too much longer. What I'm basically saying is, even if you are a car fan, Top Gear fan, or just someone who likes a good read, then give this particular one a miss. It really is not a good read.

HOWEVER... if you are a die-hard fan of Hammond, or Top Gear in general, and want to experience, first-hand, the semi-coherent ramblings of a man, who really needs to face the fact that he is actually getting old (or maybe you're a girl, who still thinks he's "cute"), but are slightly reserved about shelling out your hard-earned money on it, following what you've just read, then I have GOOD NEWS... I know where you can get a copy for free!!!

 

The only catch is, you'll need to dig through my wheelie-bin.

 

:thumbsup:

Edited by Praet0r87
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You do realise that the pages have another use should the roll be depleted and nobody is on hand to pass a refill......

 

Perhaps the short angry one whose only real role on Top Gear is as a foil for other peoples witty comments should have employed you to ghost write his book. I think you would have done a better job.

 

I've read a few of Clarkson's books....and they are a good read, but I shall make sure Mr Hammond's book does not find it's way onto my bookshelves :)

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